A cautionary tale of peasants, pointers and pulpits
Theres the story of the pastor who wanted to beef up his Advent sermon and decided to add some very graphic elements to illustrate the patience needed during the wait for Christmas.
So, he bought a pheasant from a game farm and a wire cage where the fowl could live for a few days until Sunday rolled around. Then he persuaded a friend to bring his hunting dog, a well-trained pointer, to church on Sunday morning.
The pheasant sat in its cage at the front of the sanctuary just under the pulpit while the pastor talked about being able to wait without fussing for the coming Messiah. Then the hunting dog, with its owner, appeared in the doorway. The plan called for the dog to point until the owner took him from the sanctuary, thus illustrating patience.
Apparently the pheasant knew how these things worked, because at the sight of the dog, the bird tried to flee from danger. Repeatedly leaping upward in an act of desperation, the poor bird kept hitting the top of the cage and falling to the floor. Finally the fowl was mercifully released from its frenzy as it bashed itself to death.
The congregation was horrified, children were traumatized, worship was cut short and the pastor spent the rest of the day in seclusion as the telephone rang off the hook. Nobody seems to know if the pheasant became a roasted delicacy on a parishioners table.
This true story illustrates how desperate clergy can become in their efforts to preach memorable sermons. No clergy of my acquaintance wants to step into the pulpit with a lousy sermon. The fact that many do can be attributed to lapses of creativity that often occur late Saturday evening.
Therefore, let us contemplate the many ways that worshipers can help the preacher craft memorable sermons that last more than a few hours.
First, it is true that much of the fault lies in the way people listen to sermons. Most of us dont listen carefully to the Scripture readings, seeming to fade away after the dramatic opening. By the time the ending draws near, we are far away in our own thoughts. In other words, most of us are rotten listeners, and we use the sermon time to plan the rest of our day.
Therefore, we must concentrate on what is happening in that pulpit. The Buddhists call it mindfulness, which means that we focus our minds on that task at hand. We must rip ourselves loose from the mundane and fully immerse ourselves in the spiritual. Then we will begin to merge with the preachers thoughts, becoming at one with those theological gems that fall from the pulpit like raindrops on a warm summers night.
Second, if all pastors would simply spend more time reading and engaging with the culture, those sermons would perk up considerably. The problem with most sermons is the pulpiteer has spent too much time in the parsonage. I believe preachers would be astonished to learn how much of literature, drama, poetry and music today has something to say to church people. Yes, it may be negative, but it speaks a word about how the church is measured by the present culture.
When you read a good book, for instance, tell the pastor how much you enjoyed it, especially those parts that spoke to your own inner life. Better, lend your copy to the holy person and dont expect it to be returned. Then wait to see how cleverly it is used in a sermon.
But the most important thing we can do for our pastors is to offer encouragement and honest criticism.
In The Lutheran magazine last month, for example, there was a short criticism of a pastor who wore a baseball cap into the pulpit on Easter Sunday, explaining that Easter was like the opening of baseball season.
Heres a fellow who needs a refresher course in Christian theology. But it just goes to show how desperate pulpiteers are these days. Yes, they need our help.
Clark D. Morphew
7-12-97
