Faith Partners help parishioners deal with
dependent members
I can remember sitting in one of the congregations I served
and wondering if any of the people in worship attendance had ever
had a problem with alcohol or drugs. I also remember dismissing
those thoughts because they were negative and beyond the realm
of possibility. That was early in my years as a parish pastor, when my innocence
and the realities of life could not seem to make a helpful connection.
But over the years, as people came seeking my spiritual help,
it became obvious that chemicals were a serious part of my parishioners'
lives. The first time I saw a member of my parish drunk - I mean smashed
out of his mind - was on a Friday night in a little bar and grill
not far from the parsonage. I was out with family and friends
for a cheap steak and conversation. My parishioner was so inebriated
that he stood and looked at me for a good minute as I passed by
him into the restroom. "Pastor," he said, as I marched by him. "Marv," I responded. The next Sunday he was sitting halfway back on the left side
of the church smiling and shaking hands with fellow parishioners.
The prudent thing for a pastor to do, I thought, was to overlook
the fellow's temporary weakness and move on to better targets.
The problem was, this was not a temporary weakness for Marv, but
a full-scale dependency that eventually landed him in chemical
treatment. The news does not have to be so dire and wouldn't be if families
were able to talk openly about the problem. But that is part of
the sickness of a dysfunctional family. The problem sits in the
center of the family room like a big slobbering St. Bernard and
the family tiptoes around the mutt, hoping to avoid a disturbance. It's the same with many congregations. So few are willing to
challenge the poor afflicted person - even though rumors are flying. But Faith Partners is trying to change that attitude. The organization
is trying to wrestle with the problem of chemical dependency within
the Christian community. Last week, I talked with Trish Merrill,
a pastor's wife and a psychiatric nurse from Austin, Texas, and
Jo Campe, a United Methodist pastor here in St. Paul. Both Merrill
and Campe know congregations cannot bring about healing for chemically
dependent people. But they do believe the congregation can offer
help to the dependent person and the person's family. So Merrill and Campe teamed up last weekend to offer training
to key people who belong to important congregations in the Twin
Cities. Their primary goal is to show Christians that chemical
problems are a large part of their congregation's reality. Merrill says 40 percent to 50 percent of the people who attend
church are directly affected by addictions. That may shock you,
but stop to think for a moment about your own situation. Think
of all the uncles and aunts, the brothers and sisters, the moms
and dads - it's likely that someone in your family at some point
has wrestled with the issue of chemical abuse. You could be one
of the 50 percent. One of the first things Faith Partners will do if they come
to a specific chruch is to survey congregation members, give them
a short questionnaire that can be completed during a worship service.
That will identify if the congregation is among those that have
problems with chemcial dependancy and could identify people willing
to help with the Faith Partner ministry. Then Faith Partners workers will begin unveiling the tools
that can help a congregation become a helpful partner in the battle
against alcohol and drug abuse and addiction. "We tend to use the educational places that are already
there," Merrill said. "Such as confirmation programs,
adult Bible classes, youth groups - anyplace that will allow us
to show that doing certain things can help people. For instance,
if we invite parents to a confirmation class we can make them
more aware of potential problems. "We know when you talk to kids who use alcohol or drugs,
their main influence is their peer group," Merrill said.
"When you talk to kids who do not use, their main influence
is parents. Those kinds of facts make people much more realistic." And the same facts can bring greater health to congregations.
You have no idea how much I would have welcomed some help when
I was ministering to people like Marv when I was a young and inexperienced
pastor. In spite of my inexperience, Marv did get the help he
needed and has lived a productive life. And though I couldn't help Marv, perhaps others will be lifted
out of their chemical abuse with programs such as Faith Partners.
Clark D. Morphew
Posted For December 4, 1999